Saturday, October 17, 2009

Recall Notice

I received the following in an e-mail and thought I'd share. :) RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality, " or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. Some of the symptoms include: 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul vocal emissions 3. Amnesia of origin 4. Lack of peace and joy 5. Selfish or violent behavior 6. Depression or confusion in the mental component 7. Fearfulness 8. Idolatry 9. Rebellion The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: 1. Love 2. Joy 3. Peace 4. Patience 5. Kindness 6. Goodness 7. Faithfulness 8. Gentleness 9. Self control (these are the "Fruits of the Holy Spirit") Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes. WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Paradise so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention! - GOD P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Busy weekend ahead

My birthday is officially not until Monday, but I'll be starting early... tomorrow to be exact. My friend, Susan, her mom, Trudy and I will be going on a 2 hour trip to the Town of Bramwell (WV) for a Ghost walk. This is the 2nd year they've had one, and I get the chance to go. I think it will be a lot of fun. Click on the link below for the official press release from the Children's Home Society's website on their upcoming events page. There are pictures as well, which I think is very cool. I can't wait. On Sunday, I'll be going to dinner with my family to Olive Garden... can't wait. It's one of my favorite restaurants... also my suggestion. :) Then, I'm taking off on Monday - my official b-day - and going first thing in the morning to the DMV to get my driver's license renewed. Yay!! Then, after I come home I'll need to call the maintenance men for my apartment building to come and look at my heater... I've been freezing at night and I can't get my heat to come on. I think the pilot light might be out, but I can't get the door off the unit to check. Plus, I'd rather have them do it for me, just to be on the safe side. :) I'll be updating later with pictures and such.